Let’s face it, whether you’re a kid or an adult, it can be really challenging to talk about emotions.
After all, how many times have you been caught up in your own thoughts and didn’t even realize all the emotions stirring up inside? Kids, especially, may not notice the signs their bodies use to communicate the feelings that are growing within. When they ignore their emotions and allow them to fester, the chance is high that they might eventually explode! That’s why it’s important for them to find a way to get their emotions out and one of those ways is through building an emotional vocabulary.
Here are some strategies to help your child create that emotional vocabulary:
- Model: The biggest way you can help expand your child’s emotional vocabulary is to talk about your own emotions! Children learn through modeling, which means your child is watching, hearing and learning from you. It can be so easy to stick with basic emotions such as happy, sad, and angry, but there are so many other emotions that may be a better fit for how you are actually feeling. By using a resource like a feelings wheel, you can ensure you are using a variety of emotions in your own vocabulary. Print out a feelings wheel and keep it where everyone can see it as an active reminder of words you and your child can utilize.
- Name It; Describe It: How do you know when you are feeling an emotion? Do your hands get sweaty? Does your heart race? Do your fists clench? These are all different indicators that there are emotions going on in your body. When you name what you are feeling, it is also important to describe what is happening in your body so that your child can begin to connect emotions with the body’s response.
- Teach through play: You might assume that your child is familiar with a lot of different emotions, but this may not be the case. Use games in order to explore your child’s understanding of emotions. Examples of emotions games:
- Use a feelings wheel to match an emotion word to the meaning.
- Play emotion charades by using facial expressions or body language to suggest emotions.
- Play feelings Candy Land or feelings Uno, making the color an emotion and then discussing a time when the emotion was felt each time the color is drawn.
When you uncover emotions your child doesn’t know, teach their meanings and explain when they might occur so the new emotions can be added to your child’s emotional vocabulary.
- Be curious about your child’s emotions. Use words like “I wonder,” or “I’m curious if,” in order to start the conversation about what your child is feeling. Name what you see or notice in your child in order to help your child connect emotions to facial expressions and body language. Help your child make their own connections by asking what they are feeling inside.
- Consider your response: How do you respond when your child displays emotions? Your response is vital to ensuring your child continues to share emotions with you. Society has negative connotations of anger and sadness which can create feelings of shame and disappointment when those emotions are felt. As a parent, creating a calm and safe space for your child to share emotions ensures that your child will continue to share going forward.
Remember, communicating about emotions can be uncomfortable so if there is resistance, be patient. Pushing can lead to more conflict, so if you sense resistance to any of these strategies, it’s okay to stop and try again later. The more you talk about emotions in general, the more comfortable it will become to talk about them and the more you will help your child build a robust emotional vocabulary!!