Finding effective ways to address behavioral challenges in young individuals is no easy task and has always been a challenge. Traditional approaches often lean towards authoritarian methods, focusing on punishment, control and obedience. A more empathetic and collaborative approach has emerged, which has provided a framework that requires a mindset shift: the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) model.
This model, developed by psychologist and author Dr. Ross W. Greene, challenges the conventional belief that children with behavioral difficulties are intentionally defiant or oppositional. Instead, it recognizes that these behaviors are symptomatic of lagging skills and unsolved problems. Dr. Greene provides us with an approach to understanding and helps guide young individuals through challenging situations in a way that also builds strong and positive parent-child relationships, improves behaviors and nurtures critical life skills all at the same time! The CPS framework prioritizes collaboration, empathy and proactive problem-solving.
So, let’s delve deeper and break down the components of the CPS model to help us understand it further.
There are 3 building blocks of this model – skills, problems and concerns:
- Lagging Skills: These are the skills that a person hasn’t yet developed at their expected age or stage of development. For example, a child might lack the skills to handle frustration, be flexible or solve problems.
- Unsolved Problems: These are the situations or demands that trigger the challenging behavior due to the child’s difficulty applying their lagging skills. For example, a child might have difficulty transitioning from one activity to another.
- Expectations and Concerns: These are the adult’s expectations for the individual and their concerns about the challenging behavior. It is important to be clear about this.
This is a collaborative model, hence the name, so including the child in solving the problems and meeting expectations is crucial. During the conversation with the child regarding the challenging behavior and situation, there are 3 steps outlined in the CPS model to ensure success. It is important to sequentially follow these steps; however, they do not need to be done all at once. The CPS model is all about being patient and understanding, while welcoming your child to work with you on tackling some of the tricky situations. Taking it easy and going at a pace that feels good for both you and your child will make this a lot smoother and more productive.
So, what do the three steps look like?
- The Empathy Step: Imagine sitting down for a heart-to-heart with your child. This step is all about putting yourself in their shoes and really understanding why someone is reacting the way they are.
- Define Adult Concerns: After you have worked to understand the situation from your child’s perspective, now it is time to express your side and perspective. During this step, you talk about your worries and why you think a certain behavior needs to change.
- Invite and Solutions: This is where you invite your child to join you in finding a middle ground as a team. Together you come up with ideas to tackle the problem that takes into account both of your perspectives. Once you have a solution you both agree on, it is time to put it into action.
The CPS Model requires a shift in your mindset, a change in the way you handle problem situations and a lot of flexibility. Change might not happen overnight and it might take your child (and yourself) some time to get used to this new way of tackling situations.
At Dandelion, we have therapists that have been specifically trained to utilize and provide guidance to parents and families in utilizing the CPS model. We are here to help you through this process and change as you navigate this new way of problem-solving that keeps your parent-child relationship in mind.