You’ve just received a diagnosis for your child: Autism Spectrum Disorder Level One, formerly known as Asperger’s Syndrome. Where do you go from here? Read on for helpful tips and tricks on parenting a child with Asperger’s:
- Notice your child’s special interests: Nearly every child with Asperger’s has one or more “special” interests, i.e. a topic that fascinates him or her extensively. For example, outer space, dinosaurs, Harry Potter, animal science…the possibilities are endless! Make a note of your child’s special interests and take an interest in them too! This is a powerful way to bond with your child and to make the world a less scary place to explore. The dentist’s office will be less intimidating if your child has their favorite dinosaur stuffed animal in tow. Be sure to really learn your stuff about their special interest; your child is the expert and will know if you are faking! Better yet, let your child help you become an expert too. Allowing them to teach you is a great way to improve self-confidence!
- Prepare the environment: Children with Asperger’s like routine and order in their day. Posting a daily schedule, a visual morning and evening routine, and to-do lists with checkmarks are all great ways to organize your child’s environment in a predictable way. Sensory overload is also a real concern. Limiting unnecessary noise, smells, and visual distractions in your child’s home can go a long way for reducing frustrations and meltdowns.
- Look for the emotion behind the behavior: When a child with Asperger’s “lashes out” (meltdowns, shouting, whining, punching, etc.) it’s understandably easy to get caught up in the behavior of the outburst. The behavior should not be ignored and setting behavioral limits with consequences is appropriate. However, if the emotion behind the outburst is ignored, the behavioral pattern will only continue. Are they refusing to do their homework because they hate math problems or are they feeling embarrassed because they don’t understand the concepts? Are they screaming because they want to stay home and watch cartoons or are they scared to go to school because of a new teacher? It is important for caregivers to distinguish between children’s feelings and actions because they are often very different; address the underlying feeling to alter the behavior.
- Slowly teach independence: As a parent, it feels good to be needed. Knowing that you can make your child’s sandwich in that special way they like with extra peanut butter and no crusts feels great. But eventually, all children must take on self-responsibility and independence. Children with Asperger’s are no different. When your child shows interest that they are ready to take on a tad bit more responsibility, teach them little by little. It might take several tries and many hiccups along the way, but eventually, they will feel proud of what they have accomplished. Many children with Asperger’s won’t take on new life skills unless pushed and that’s where you come in as a parent.
These are just a few helpful suggestions for parenting a child with Asperger’s. If you need support, be sure to contact Dandelion Family Counseling to schedule an appointment with one of our therapists today!
We recommend reading Asperkids: An Insider’s Guide to Loving, Understanding and Teaching Children with Asperger Syndrome by O’Toole for more information!