A lot of ADHD and Autistic children thrive with more consistency in routine. However, all children experience some level of anxiety when schedules and routines are constantly changing and when their expectations are rarely met. This blog post will address the importance of schedules and routines and how consistency translates to stronger relationships, having a sense of belonging, and self-confidence.
When children know what they can expect, they feel safe, secure, and comfortable. Knowing what is happening in the moment, and what is coming next, helps a child feel more in control of their environment. When children experience a world with more repetition their brains are able to strengthen connections leading to better brain wiring. Predictability in routine boosts curiosity, thus making children more likely to take initiative in exploring and learning new skills. Consistency in routine often translates to consistency in parenting. When there is consistency in a parent’s actions and responses, children develop emotional security and trust. Deeper emotional stability helps lessen misbehaviors.
So, how can families create routine? Start by breaking down your daily activities into sections. Next, find activities that need to happen daily and that will be the foundation of your routine. From there, you can add in activities that are only some days of the week like sports practices, appointments, or school activities.
Even with thoughtful planning, there will be times when there are unexpected changes. Cancellations, traffic, sickness, or just being human and forgetting- can lead to last minute routine changes. When these things happen, make your child aware of the change in a calm and positive manner. Give them time to process and remember that last minute change can be especially difficult. If there are changes that will affect routine in a few days, take the time to prep your child leading up to the change to reduce anxiety.
When planning routines and schedules, include your children! When children have a say in some routine plans, it builds autonomy and independence in addition to improving family communication overall. Schedules and routines can also be formed in a way that children can make choices in what comes first. This can give children an active role in their day and decisions they make, helping them build skills around prioritizing and scheduling.
It is important to remember that routine can help combat anxiety, but ultimately in an ever-changing world, flexibility is an important skill to learn as well. To help children build flexibility, use supportive language around moments of change in routine. For example, tell children that plans change and things happen, but that you are there to warn them about changes or sit with them while they process changes. Tell them what to expect when plans change. Remember, you are a role model for your children. How you follow routine and how you react and respond to changes in plans can also serve as a positive example for them to follow.
Sources:
The Importance of Schedules and Routines | ECLKC (hhs.gov)
The power of consistency while parenting young children – Sanford Health News
The Importance of Consistency and Routine in Your Child’s Life (yourchildyourgift.com)