As parenting and behavioral management strategies evolve and more research surfaces, a new powerful approach has been developed that can not only help address challenging behavior and tricky situations with children, but also strengthen the bond between the parent and child: The Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) model, developed by psychologist and author, Dr. Ross Greene.
Imagine sitting down with your child in a calm space ready to truly listen. You’re not there to assign blame or find fault, but to understand, empathize and find solutions together while building life skills in the meantime. This is where it all begins – with understanding. Below we will explore how to utilize the CPS model in your home to solve problems and build stronger parent-child relationships.
The model begins with identifying specific situations or issues in which the challenging behavior is present. These are the unsolved problems that are due to lagging skills. The child’s perspective is invaluable here since it provides insights into their world. During these discussions, it is crucial to allow the child to speak without interruptions or judgment. Your job is to approach this with an open heart and a curious mind as you try to understand and communicate empathy. Once the child has shared all of the concerns that lead to their struggle, it is your turn to express your own thoughts and concerns gently, ensuring your words come from a place of love and understanding.
Next comes the creative part as both you and your child put on your brainstorming hats! The goal is to come up with as many ideas as you can to tackle the unsolved problem. Your child’s input is not just valuable, but necessary. This is where the skills of problem-solving, communication and compromise are learned and practiced with your support and encouragement. Together, you will sift through the options and select the most realistic and agreeable solution. This is a decision made with respect for both perspectives and concerns, which ensures collaboration.
As you start implementing the solution and time goes by, frequent check-ins and conversations are encouraged as you discuss how the solution is working, check to see if any improvement or changes are needed and praise both of your efforts. Celebrating all of the progress, no matter how small, will build trust and mutual respect. These moments of success allow for a stronger and more connected relationship between the two of you, while continuing to invite open and safe communication.
The CPS model allows you to address more than just behavior; it teaches children resilience, problem-solving and the power of collaboration. This is not a journey that you have to go through alone. Here at Dandelion, therapists are trained in the CPS model and passionate about supporting families through this journey to strengthen the parent-child bond and improve life at home. Reach out and let us help.