“EYE CONTACT!” This is probably a familiar phrase for a child with ADHD or Aspergers. The intention being to get the child to pay attention to what someone is saying or trying to show the child. But does it work? The problem isn’t that the child doesn’t want to pay attention, it’s that they are unsure of what to be paying attention to. Children with ADHD and Aspergers often have a conditioned response of “chin up, eyes down” when they hear the common phrase “eye contact”. This is because they may not understand what they are supposed to be paying attention to. They have simply watched other students angle their faces upwards, so they do the same. This is why Michelle Garcia Winner has coined the phrase “think with your eyes” (Source: SocialThinking.com).
Thinking with your eyes is really about sorting the massive amount of sensory information that bombards our brains and focusing on the right information. To think with your eyes is to focus on the right information- not the ‘minor’ details in the background, but to look for the emotions, the reactions and body language.
SocialThinking.com describes the social competency model as the following:
Social Attention -> Social Interpretation -> Problem Solving -> Social Response
Thinking with your eyes happens in the Social Attention and Social Interpretation phases. If information is improper during these phases an improper social response will likely be elicited. This is why it is important to teach children to observe their environment, specifically their social environment! Children should focus on people’s faces and try to observe what emotions or intentions are revealed. It is also just as important to try to notice contextual patterns and how other people are acting. For example, in a classroom all of the students have trained their attention to the front of the classroom where the teacher is speaking. This is called joint attention and it is essential for school age students to be successful in a classroom environment.
If your child struggles with being socially attune, we highly recommend the webinar listed below. We are also happy to help through individual, group and parenting support to help your child learn to increase their attention to social patterns, emotional connections and watching for the appropriate details.
Want to learn more? Check out the original webinar from SocialThinking.com at https://www.socialthinking.com/eLearning/Webinar-Thinking-With-Your-Eyes