Have you ever thought about emotional intelligence?
What words might your child use to describe their gratitude? Their excitement? Or frustration?
What words do you use?
I want you to take a moment – Do these adjectives correctly describe your reactions?
Thanksgiving is a time where may families share what they are thankful for. We sit together, share food and stories, and enjoy each other’s company. For many families, this may be a distant memory. Today, we have phones, less talking, and more complaining. As a result, we have become disconnected.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is your ability to notice and accurately identify and express your emotions. It is also the ability to be aware of others’ emotions. These are words beyond ‘happy, mad, angry, sad.’ Emotional intelligence is the adjectives that describe how we feel and relate to others.
How technology affects emotional intelligence
As phones and other devices consume our everyday living, talking face to face has become less common. Families might text ‘dinner is ready’ instead of walking up to their teens room. Children might ‘like a photo’ rather than call their friend to ask how the theme park was. We become less and less involved in each other’s lives. As a result, we are less aware. As we become less emotionally aware, we disengage and we lose touch with our friends and family.
Potential Downfalls of not raising Emotionally Intelligent children
So, what is the potential downfall of not raising an emotional intelligent child? Your child might be unable to share how they truly feel. They may feel trapped in a mind that feels these emotions, but cannot name them. This can affect social relationships, English writing skills, the ability to get a job, and many areas that relate to what you might define as success.
Emotional intelligence is the emotional vocabulary that enables our children to communicate their thoughts, feelings and reactions. Without emotional intelligence, our children are disadvantaged. They are disadvantaged because emotions are key to happiness and success.
How you can help improve emotional intelligence
You can begin developing emotional intelligence by increasing your own emotional language at home. Instead of thinking your thoughts or verbalizing the same words over and over- Expand! Use a larger vocabulary that challenges your child’s thinking. Try using words such as perplexed, apathetic, insignificant, betrayed, appalled, powerless, inquisitive, valued and joyful.
How I can help improve emotional intelligence
In my office, I work with the family to improve emotional intelligence. This is a family experience because we all need to expand our vocabulary. We expand not only our 4 known words, but also synonyms for disgusted, fearful, bad and surprised. We become optimistic that our vulnerable children who feel betrayed and withdrawn might feel secure, proud and trusting. Parents might be relieved they no longer feel overwhelmed, helpless and frightened. We are no longer anxious, humiliated or critical. These feelings might be replaced with inspired, hopeful and respected. These words are key to emotional intelligence. We practice these words, using specific activities, to improve communication and emotional naming within the home.
Emotional intelligence may not feel natural for some families. Truthfully, our emotional intelligence diminishes anytime we have felt inadequate for any period of time. I am guessing by you reading this, you might be ready to feel confident and proud. You deserve this and so does your child!